Chocolate covered tapeworms

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Are you stuck for a gift again this year?

No idea what to get That Special Someone to totally light up their life, deep in the bowels of February?

Well we're here to help! Here are lots of wonderful ideas you can use to totally amaze your Special Person (or Animal[1], I suppose) with your Incredible Thoughtfulness and Mind-Blowing Cleverness!!

Chocolate covered tapeworms[edit | edit source]

Say it with parasites! (Yum!)

Luscious chocolaty outside, crunchy skin within, and yummy nubbly center packed with nutritious eggs -- who could ask for more?

Chocolate covered squirrels[edit | edit source]

Carefully wrapped and then dipped. (Guaranteed not to bite)

For the animal lover in your life!

They'll never forget the moment they unwrap your package and find a real (formerly) live squirrel, dipped in chocolate!

Chocolate covered mice[edit | edit source]

Show quality chocolate rat

Imagine the expression on your special person's face when they open a lovely heart-shaped candy box and find that it's filled with chocolate covered mice!

Or better yet, how about a chocolate covered rat!

It's such a fun holiday when you just give your imagination a little freedom!

Chocolate covered buses[edit | edit source]

Oh, sure -- and just where were we supposed to find an image of a chocolate covered bus??

Crunchy!

Chocolaty outside, crunchy on the inside, with a squishy squirmy meaty center (unless you remembered to shake it to get everyone out before you dipped it).

Chocolate covered shoes[edit | edit source]

The ideal Valentine's day gift: A pair of chocolate dipped shoes. They're multipurpose!

The outside is yummy, luscious, creamy chocolate; you can suck on the laces for hours.

And inside there's something for your Significant Other to throw at you when they realize what you got them for Valentine's day!

And then, when the dust has settled and you've found someplace else to live, you can wash the chocolate off and wear them! What more could you ask?


  1. But note -- if your Special Someone is of the dog persuasion, none of these gifts are really appropriate, as dogs must not be allowed to eat chocolate. Nor drink coffee, I suppose. (Beer is OK, tho.)