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Once, upon a hill two giants were debating the mode of the stars. One wore a hat of coconut shells and the other had a plaque on his head, signed by Richard Nixon.

It got a bit out of hand. They started slapping each other round the face until they had no faces left.

The faceless wrecks stumbled down to the village and crushed houses and shops, which made the villagers very angry.

The villagers vowed to burn them to death with a large bonfire made out of rotten fish and wood. So that night they collected the stuff up into a pile and were ready to burn it when they discovered...

They were trees.