College project gone wrong

Hello! Are you afraid? Has the local self help blogger sold you a worthless course you could have downloaded for free elsewhere? Then I present to you... this bare bones, tool kit! On how to: WIN AT LIFE!!!! Get ready for this because it's LARGE....

Are you ready?

I can't hear y'all!?

HERE IT COMES!!!

Phffffffffrummmn.....

Here it is

Um... it's here on my thumb drive.

click... BADUM! Whirrrrr.

Okay explorer.... that's it, meme busta folder... okay, let's pickle!

this college project is called win at life: it was transcribed from a dictaphone

... okay so we're recor...

HULLOW AND IM JIM AND IM AN EJUYT

Tim stop stop!

WhAHH?

we're supposed to be working on this group prodge together. Now hold this soda can.

Uhuh.

and drink

glugg

and b r e a t h e...

phew. t h a n k s, i.... w a i t.... thanks, I needed that.

Okay so welcome to the win at life audio blog. This is a quick rundown of what we've found over the last three hours of research for a college project that

voice in back: you're not supposed to say it's a college....

....we have done. So... number one....... cough... erm.... yeah, so. First thing is, you have to know what money is.

MONEH

ok jim. money is like paper but worth something. ya cant just go and get a notepad and say its money. it needs be worth something. like saying that it was found in a basement with three thousand other rolls of paper, and its a digital world where paper doesnt exist

hang on...

ohshutupjum!

yeah this is rubbish, im going home.

ya cant it still eleven oclock and we still need to

slams door

just us two now tim.

yus

so yeah erm, what did we have to do this for again?

to live a lonely life in our own jail in the back of a supermarket where we hit on the mop because no other woman will have us?!

speak for yourself, im gonna live life alone. no woman nor man can rule my life, and thats fact.

hey, did you see Arnold has won life?

no, what did he do?

well he just threw an ice bucket over a fellah in bed and said come with me if you want to lift....' HEHHH HEHHH HEEGUUUGH!!

click. RECORDING ENDING

You now have all you need to win at life. Isn't that grande? Nothing better than a caramel syrrup in my latte, and it tastes so damn good, and I, crunch it and I crunch it... oh wait. That's not good in a drink, y'know.