Crossing Paths With Cleanliness

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On one particular street in Barschvitzyk, a house sits filled with old rags. But that is not all.

There she sits: along the western window. The Baker Cat, that is.

Her fixed, apathetic glance spreads across the scenery from the window. From out the window the average soul can see the large donut shop across the street, the local dumpyard, and the parking lot for the "Exhibit of Molten Rock Formations Shaped Like Celebrities and/or Pens", which is just out of view from the window.

The cat's ominous stare, however, only sees the donut shop.

Her narrow pupil never dilates, no matter how dark or how bright it may be.

It just stays.

And her stare; oh, her marvelous stare! How much terror it brings.

Those who cross her view are instantly turned into a life-sized cardboard cut out of a sandwich from Subway, and are given the life powers of a gazelle. Most who cross her view are immediately shipped off to Africa, their new home.

Every resident of Barschvitzyk turned into a sandwich cut out within four days of the cat's existence.

Once the town was empty, the birds took over and set up a ticket window to pay to see the cat.

They quickly went out of business, since they all too turned into sandwiches.

An innocent passerby who came through the town met his fate trying to find a public restroom. His new cardboard body couldn't open a door handle and was stuck in the car for the rest of infinity.

Eventually, the whole world turned into cardboard cut outs. Africa became too full.

And so the leader of the cut outs, Marty MacIntire, declared the whole world Africa, and so everyone moved to where they wanted to go, in this case, Africa.

After words, the cat went and ate its bowl of food.

"Hey, what happened there!" accused a cut out of a sandwich while staring at a tipped glass of water.