Cul de Balzac
Cul de Balzac or Balzac's sack in renowned throughout Europe as the premier purveyor of imbeciles to royal families. The company was founded in 1837 by Herr Gesund Klein Dusmas, formerly of Latvia, but of late, deceased. Cursed by circumambulatory disorder, Dusmas was frequently morose, and took to the bottle at age 8. Unable to prevent his uncle Stringent from cashing in on his circular energies, he took to silent protest by routinely peeing himself at family dinners. Knocking about Denmark, France and Corsica for his eighteenth summer, he got the idea to capitalize on the shortage of imbeciles in Europe's royal houses.
Moving to Dresden, he bombed a lecherous kaizumer out of his hovel, and took it over the next day as a manufacturing base. Predetermination in the form of the triune kaizum was dispersed as food stamps to the horse breeders in an effort to staunch bleeding. And several butcher's aprons...
Carpal tunneling swine abbreviate their gestures in a rancid effort to decline their baconess. Dogs gathered at the rear gate in hopes for scraps. As the runnel and funnel of the jim jam gobbledy goo splortched manatees through the substrate of nothingness, beavers arise to supplicate and whinge about how they have all the responsibilities and none of the perks. Percs? Perks.
Flounce whenever favored, and flub whenever flummoxed, as the captain may have you think.