DJ Peanut Butter

Will you look into the mirror Frodo?

DJ Peanut Butter is the whitest white guy you know.

Early childhood

According to many creditable reports, Butter was not born in the normal sense, but congealed together in a refrigerator from various leftovers. He was cobbled together mostly with old half-eaten sandwiches and trace amounts of baking soda. His blood is made out of root beer, his brain is an old meatloaf, his bile is rancid eggnog, and his heart is a melting wade of vanilla bean ice cream.

Because of all this, Butter often would cause people to contract various health illnesses like diabetes, tooth decay, excess fatness, and irritable bowel syndrome.

Education

Butter was really into all that fancy book learning. He was a precocious child, having plagiarized all of Einstein’s theories by the age of 23. He could always color inside the lines no matter what the outline was, and he always remembered to dot his Ts and cross his Is.

Rise to fame

Like most talent-less hacks, Butter become popular from a viral video on Youtube. The music video of his song “Pardon Me But Have You Tasted My Delicious Swedish Meatball?” easily reached one million hits, thus gaining him worldwide recognition.

Controversy

In the spring of 2012 Butter received overwhelming media backlash for his hit song “What We Need Right Now is a Bunch of Dead White People.” After succeeding to offend both white and black people, Peanut Butter released an apologize saying that he was sorry if he had offended any evil white devils.

Fall from grace

As times changed, DJ Peanut Butter’s music became less and less popular. He started drinking more and began using illegal drugs. While in a drunken stupor he lost his house keys and was never able to enter into his mansion ever again.

Death

While lounging in his luxurious cardboard condo, Butter contracted a terrible case of the muddy water mumps and died while awaiting his mail to be delivered. There were no survivors.