DeBiccing

To deBic a friend is a foul intrusion, nay, an assault on the fundamental first and... some other amendments too, that we all hold dear in our hearts. Not communists, of course. Or heathens.

To transfer ownership of a Bic lighter, even inadvertently, from said friend to oneself, waves the sacred flag upside down, and reveres bearded instigators who play by their own rules. The shame normal people would feenin perpetrating such an ugly act wold crush their souls like a Poland Springs 20 ounce bottle being savaged by my dear, large and fierce friend. Were I to deBic him, he’d laugh and hug me, because he loves me. Others may not fare as well.

I write these words with no shame or regret; my dog is my witness. Even though she’s asleep now that I put the tv on to cover the sound of fireworks.