Dear technology store, where do I insert the HDMI cable into my wife

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Dear technology store,

I am planning to use my wife as a portable TV, but I have no idea where and how to connect a HDMI cable into her. Is there a specific place, or do I just stick it inside a random hole? I understand that my wife is made up of 100% organic tissue, which does make a lot of things somewhat harder, but I would like to try, as I saw something inside the newspaper that says it is possible. Can you help me in any way?

Yours sincerely,

Sergei A. Diethylamide

Reply from store[edit | edit source]

Dear Mr. Diethylamide,

Your wife is not a TV. You are mad.

Elias Duct Tape, Esquire Office of the Central Scrutinizer