Dortascreen

Dortascreen is the opposite of sunscreen. It is very red and legible. One day it went for a walk. Those are the most important things you need to know about dortascreen. Here are some of the less important things:

• Hi. My name is Bob.
• My name isn't really Bob.
• Nobody's name is Bob.
• Bob's name is Nobody.
• Nobody knows why.
• Why knows nobody.
• In Soviet Russia, !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently it prevents UV ray damage in temperatures below -12 Celsius. Useful, huh?