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Dortascreen is the opposite of sunscreen. It is very red and legible. One day it went for a walk. Those are the most important things you need to know about dortascreen. Here are some of the less important things:

  • Hi. My name is Bob.
  • My name isn't really Bob.
  • Nobody's name is Bob.
  • Bob's name is Nobody.
  • Nobody knows why.
  • Why knows nobody.
  • In Soviet Russia, !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently it prevents UV ray damage in temperatures below -12 Celsius. Useful, huh?