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If they wanted us to care about them, they would've been American.

“Yeah, that e-boli.”

~ My mother on the Ebola virus, combining its name with "e-coli"

The Ebola virus is this thing that people in Africa get. White people can only get the Ebola virus if they go to help the people in Africa who have the virus, but hey, who the Hell would want to do that?

It comes from monkeys and other animals that don't exist on more civilized continents. It is spread through contact with bodily fluids of the infected, usually from healthcare or through burial rituals. Notice how white people don't do weird burial rituals and then don't get the Ebola virus.

I think you just don't care about people in Africa and are trying to rationalize it[edit]

That's just preposterous. If I were trying to rationalize it, then why... why are the people dying brow-... nope... don't wanna say that... why are they not in America or somewhere that matters, huh? You never hear about this happening in countries that matter?


See? You sighed. I win.


“Ebola is good for us, it is the fifth element in the table of elements. It is vital for all life. If we shun Ebola, we might as well blow up the sun. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I had NASA working on a secret initiative to blow up the moon. Couldn't tell you until everything was in space. This is Lord Chang--er, Lord Obama, signing out.(but not off)”

~ Lord Obama