Economic Benefits of Automated Egg Crackers

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“This quote has no place in this article”

~ Sympathetic quote

Automated Egg Crackers, the "state-of-the-art shell penetrating and removing devices" believe it or not, have some actual economic benefits:

  • Prevent eggshell-related political accidents by up to 13%
  • Stimulate purchasing of powdered eggs due to hatred of cracking eggs
  • Sit on shelves with fancy price tags
  • Shine with their chrome outer layers
  • Give billions to failing corporations
  • Increase chances of salmonella outbreaks by -1/2

See also[edit | edit source]