Electric Mice

Just warming up its eye beams

Things to keep in mind:

• They're electric so they're faster than you.

• RUN! But it won't do any good -- see previous point.

• They never need to stop for refueling, unlike gasoline powered mice.

• They can see in the dark. Because they're ELECTRIC! If you can't see in the dark, don't try to hide from them in a dark closet!

• Don't try to get away from them by hiding under your bed -- that's their natural habitat!

• If you put out mouse traps, you'll never catch them -- unless you bait your traps with electric cheese!

• They're afraid of cats -- but only electric cats!

• If you get an electric cat to chase away your electric mice, beware -- electric cats are afraid of nothing!

• Except electric dogs. So, if you get an electric cat, and it gets rid of your electric mice, but now the electric cat is under your bed and won't come out, maybe you should consider getting an electric dog to chase it off.

• If you got an electric dog to chase away the electric cat, and now you're cornered by your electric dog and you can't get out, we ... uh ... we don't know what to suggest. You've got a problem. Sorry.

• Do not, on pain of ... um ... something horrible, ever confuse electric mice with eclectic mice. The latter are much, much harder to get rid of.

There are mice in the ceiling,
there are mice in the floor,
you cannot get away from them,
they're watching at the door!

There are mice in the mattress,
there are mice in the wall.
There are mice in the carpet,
you can't walk on it at all!

There are mice in your underwear,
and mice in your hair,
I dare not even speculate
just what they're doing there.

There are mice in the garden,
there are mice in the hall.
There are mice in a pickup truck;
They're driving to the mall.

There are mice on Jupiter
and mice on the Moon,
and anyone you tell
will think you're crazy as a loon.

There are mice in your pockets,
there are mice in your socks.
When you bought a new mousetrap,
there were mice in the box.

---