Face Bank

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Unfortunately, it doesn't know the difference between "money" and "human flesh".

In 2010 the japanese consumer product company Banpresto was at the top of its game. Having released the famed "crisp-picker upperer", which was a convenience appliance that picked up one's crisp, Banpresto was renowned for releasing quality items and investors were looking for the next big thing to come out of them. The consumer giant decided that as well as items that performed miscellaneous tasks, they then decided that creating something to conceal one's money was the next best thing. They decided that creating something that ate the person's quarters, it was decided to give the thing a vaguely-human face.

However, the technology for this did not exist as all prototypes resembled gumby characters. Consulting a witch-doctor, they decided that old-fashioned magic was the only way to obtain the desired look. Though there was some objection, mostly from institutions such as Hogwarts, these requests for re-call were ignored and the product was released for the christmas-shopping period of 2011. However, despite the fact many customers complained of the item gaining a conscious and requiring an exorcism, all qualms of demonic possesion and rampant meglomania were ignored by the major media-giants. But one of the largest problems regarding the item was the fact that there was no way to obtain the consumed money, and an autopsy was required to get it back.