Free Willy
Free Willy is a slave whale. He eats cheese and likes jumping over rocks. He ate a prune and then had a baby, who he named "Schalameloref", which in native whale tongue, means "he who breaks toaster then blames it on a baby who likes to smell carpets individually". He had several babies, who in turn had a cow, each cow wearing a unicycle-print tie.
The Epoch of Free Willy[edit | edit source]
The Epoch of Free Willy is a book that specializes in showing one how to eat pork with a ladle, and, ironically, has nothing to do with Free Willy, but is referencing the "rook" in chess, which ate pork out of a ladle. It was made in 1942 by the person who sailed the ocean blue, most notably, the Earl of Mynameis, who's original name was "Mychildhad Alotofhands Sowenamedhimearl", and, ironically, he had only one hand. Ironically is a fun word, you should try it some time. Anywho, the Epoch of Free Willy is availble to buy on cassete or eight track tape, in original text format, in the "buffalo" section of your local pet store.
The rise of Slave Willy[edit | edit source]
Slave Willy is the evil clone of Free Willy, who is a whale, the size of a cow, with four legs, hooves, an udder, and the tail of a cow. He was the only one in the "Willy" family to eat butter directly out of the refrigerator. I do not know if I spelled "refrigerator" right, as I do not usually have the chance to spell the word frequently. He rose out of bed, one day, and he never went back to that bed. He mysteriously switched beds, even though his original one was tattered and stained. He is, ironically, not a slave whale, but a fluid one. Hence, the name, "Willy".
The Downfall of Slave Willy[edit | edit source]
Slave Willy eventually went back to his original bed. He was never heard from again, except for the times he was heard from again.