"Living with a genital dolphin infection is extremely challenging," says an anonymous sufferer, "They don't itch, but they make loud squeaking noises constantly and leave embarassing puddles everywhere. Not to mention how difficult it is to try to zip up your pants when there are three or four 13 foot dolphins in your crotch."
They can be eliminated with specialized anti-dolphin pubic shampoos, or with a boatload of Genital Whalers.
What a stupid way to end an article. Plus I already wrote an article about aquatic mammals in absurd places, and called it Bath Whale. Although I think this one is way better because it mentions pubic hair a couple times.
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