Holy Carp!

This article could potentially be a good article. But it won't be. Because I wrote it, it will be a suckish article. Mediocre illogical jokes, random subject changes (cheese!), irrelevant pictures or none at all, and references to random in-jokes that nobody knows about.

It could get featured. I've written around 70 articles? And 2 are featured. $70/2=45$, so this article is 45% likely to get featured, and I base this on absolutely nothing. It could also be a crappy article. It could be lost in the abyss of articles. I'd delete it from my wall of written articles because I could be ashamed of having created this evil spawn of... me. I've had around 5 articles deleted, and $5-45$ (the 45 is $articleswritten/articlesfeatured$) is -40, so there's -40% chance of that happening. Which is good.

This article could become the best article ever, and everyone could fall in love with it, then find out it was cheating with that guy it met at the bar, and then this article could divorce everyone and take half their money and make me a billionaire. Actually, I'm gonna go do that. BRB.