Holy Penguin Army

“The Holy Hand Grenade worketh not on ... penguins”

~ Armaments 14:28 - 29

“The Holy Penguin Army is just rubbish. They are just SO bad!!! I mean, what can they doaaaaAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!”

~ An important american general, on being attacked by the Holy Penguin Army

The Holy Penguin Army has 3 different sectors:

• the Anti-Ground Alive Killer Sector (Anti-Gaks)
• the Heavenly Open Preaching Eaglets (HOPE)
• the Berating And Laughing Loging Sector (BALLS)

The penguins in these factors can all swim very well, as well as having their special powers.

The Coincidence with Bananas.

There was a Bachelor of Arts in the Holy Banana Studio when suddenly, he ate a apple in there! This caused such a huge commotion that the Holy Penguin Empire raised the now known and eaten feared Holy Penguin Army.

How Glorious they were! Because they appeared at the height of the Holy Penguin Empire (HPE), they had the latest equipment such as fire-killers, booger-diggers, dingy-chatties and fighting fookungs. They were awesome. No, really. They just unleashed their penguiny wrath upon all enemies who were brought forth.

The HPE's lands extended the whole of the Southern Hemisphere at the height of their empire. Sadly now, this is not the case any more so they are secretly waging a deadly war against all Humans, for it was the Humans who caused Global Warming and caused their empire to melt.

Heavenly Open Preaching Eaglets

HOPE (Heavenly Open Preaching Eaglets) eats Fuel Bells before going to Battle so that they can fly.

As is shown here.

The Fuel Bells make them so much lighter so that they can fly. The other sectors are as fearsome as HOPE.

Anti-Ground Alive Killer Sector

Anti- GAKS (Anti- Ground alive Killer Sector) are just masses of specialised and genetically modified penguins which are so much tougher than other normal penguins.

They are superior to Humans in terms of fighting strategies, physical strength and intelligence. (Now, now, don't get so huffed up about that...)

Berating And Laughing Loging Sector

BALLS (Berating And Laughing Loging Sector) are the best warriors out of them all who are hand-picked by the Lord Penguin to protect him and their capital city. They are the toughest and strongest out of all of them. Humans have tried beating them many times but have failed unsuccessfully.

The Total War

The Total War against Humans is still going on, despite many people unaware of it. At the moment, the chances of the HPA winning is 93.45%, but Humans still have a chance, however small. You, <insert name here>, can increase the probability of Humans or Penguins winning by spreading the word!!!

Yes, I do mean now.

Penguins

                                             There is a Penguin spy just watching you right now!!!

         AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
       AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
       AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
       AAAAAAAAA      AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
       AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
       AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
       AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
       AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
       AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
       AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA             UUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
       AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAiiiiiiiiiiiiiUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
       AAAAAAiiiiiiAAAAAAAAiiiiiiiiiiiUUUUii
       AAAAAAiiiiiiAAAAAAAAiiiiiiiiiiUUUUii
       AAAAAAiiiiiiAAAAAAAA          UUUUU
       AAAAAAiiiiiiAAAAAAAA         UUUUU
       AAAAAAiiiiiiAAAAAAAA         
       AAAAAAiiiiiiAAAAAAAA
       AAAAAAiiiiiiAAAAAAAA
       AAAAAAiiiiiiAAAAAAAA
       AAAAAAiiiiiiAAAAAAAA
       AAAAAAiiiiAAAAAAAAAA
       AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
      AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

YOU'RE DEAD. NO, YOU REALLY ARE. ACCEPT IT. THAT PENGUIN SHOT YOU.

Now you can just comprehend how powerful the Holy Penguin Army is.

Now you can go to sleep in peace.

Dead.