HowTo:Destroy Papers

From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

PAPERS ARE EVIL. Everyone wants to get rid of papers. So, this article will teach you how to finally destroy!!!!

DramaticQuestionMark.png
Did you know...

Papers contain much needed roughage and essential inks

DramaticQuestionMark.png
Did you know...

That Peter pinched a pink pickled paper playing Pon-Tuun. The paper later killed Peter in his sleep.

DramaticQuestionMark.png
Did you know...

Burning papers brings the doodles drawn on them to life

DramaticQuestionMark.png
Did you know...

The doodles will quickly die in the inferno

DramaticQuestionMark.png
Did you know...

Skyscrapers are blown up every 2 days by low-flying paper aeroplane

DramaticQuestionMark.png
Did you know...

Once every 4.32:P89 seconds someone tries to stab rogue paper using office equipment

Od ot deen ouy tahW[edit]

1: Crumple the paper.


2: Step on the crumpled paper and smear it forcefully across the ground.


3: Throw the now rather smudged and creased ball of paper out the window. Then dive out the window to retreave it. Repeat this step 5 times.


4: Unfold the paper and soak it in water.


5: When the paper dries, fry or boil it in a pot/pan. Some people like to fry it while some like to boil it (it is rumoured some way out folks like to smoke it). Make sure the paper reaches over 450 degrees because that's it's burning point.


6: Rip the paper into STRIPS. No tiny pieces. STRIPS. Then tease the strips - a strip tease!


7: Blend the paper on "High" in the blender.


8: When the paper is shredded put it on a flat surface and hammer the paper.


7: Once again, soak the paper.


9: When the paper is dry, you may finally throw it in the trash. It has gotten all the torture it needs before it retires.


Warnings[edit]

Wikihowllogo.png

See more HowTo guides like this at WikiHowl.

  • If you like the paper and it is your friend, save it forever.
  • Doing this on too many papers will make the rest attack you and run away to an owner that will take good care of the papers.