HowTo:Get an English Literature GCSE

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You too can get an English Literature GSCE exam pass! Not that it's hard...
All you have to do is answer questions correctly, please consider that no answer is ever wrong, unless it does not match the ones below;
and we here have the answers for you!

Answers for questions on "An Inspector Calls":

1. The mood at the start of Act 3 is expressed with these words:
   1. "AAAAAAA!" and "WOBWOBWOB". This is because there is a dead pidgeon on the dining table being mutilated by a fox in a polka-dot shower cap.
2. Eric is currently aroused for two reasons. Reason 1 is that his girlfriend, pregnant with his baby, swallowed bleach and died. Reason 2 is that the mutilated pidgeon is in an uncompromising position.
3. The growing effect on the family is one of hallucinogenic nut allergies transmitted from dying owls' bathrooms full of midgets dancing the can-can on their heads to a techno remix of the Queen's christmas speech in 1987 while wearing gas masks on their feet.
4. Eric should tell the inspector his story via a shotgun.
5. The inspector should listen to his story by allowing any bullets to achieve full effect on his face.
6. Mr and Mrs. Birling and Sheila should react to this story by singing the theme tune to AIDS: The Musical and diving into a swimming pool made entirely of black forest gateaux and penis rings.
7. The inspector ends up "taking charge masterfully" because his sister called to say that she was pregnant with his goose.
8. The Birlings should react to the inspector's speech by going to Disneyland and Vomiting.

Any other queries?

Too bad, we can't be bothered :)