HowTo:Get on the No Fly List

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You came here on trying to figure out ways to get in trouble with the US Government and find your way on getting on the no fly list. Well here are some steps below to get you placed there:

Some of the things you can do to get on the list[edit]

  1. Say the b word in a Airport, you know the 4 letter one not the 5 letter one (i.e. baby)
  2. Show a Police Officer, FBI agent, TSA agent, or some other National Security Guard pictures of Airplanes, Buildings, Trains, Bridges, ETC.
  3. Bring Snakes on to planes.
  4. Be a member of a known terrorist plot
  5. Bring your drink onto a plane.
  6. Have the same name of a known terrorist.
  7. Read this article.

You know your on the right track on getting on the list when[edit]

  1. You plane ticket says SSSS
  2. You find yourself in a cement room seconds after entering the Airport
  3. Your house gets bombed
  4. You go directly to Jail without passing go or collecting $200
  5. You get blocked from Illogicpedia

And, if all else fails[edit]

Get a pair of baggy old pants with the front ripped out. The ones with the zipper missing that just got tossed into the dustbin behind the Sally Ann should do in a pinch. Walk into the airport first-class lounge and wear them with pride. Demand your seat right up at the front of the plane with Pontius, the pilot, and his co-pilot. If the airline officials question it, assure them that you quite literally have nothing to hide.


Well, this is all I know about how to get on this list. If you know of any other ways to get on the list or ideas on knowing your on the right track, feel free to edit this page.

See Also[edit]