ICW Topsy-Turvy Turbulence!
There appears to be a rubbish ring setup in the middle of someone's garden. For the ropes, they've been stolen from the local park as some swings are still tied to them. For the mats there's cardboard evidently stolen from the local shop since it says 'Local Shop Goods' on them, and as for the turnbuckles... well you might be better off not knowing what's been used (old pairs of used underwear from Fat Bastard. Ewwwww *shudder*). At the side of the erhem, ring, there is a table set up with an old black and white TV placed at one end and a cardboard box simply labelled "TeyVey" at the other. Man this really is low budget. Someones sure to get hurt. Wahoo! Sat at the table are two unusually non-wrestling related characters.
Frosty: Folks welcome to ICW Topsy-Turvy Turbulence! with me Frosty the Snowman...
Batman: The whole world is about to end! And I, the perfect rescue serpent, must heed this call for help, and...
Frosty: Come on Batman stick to the script. This is serious buisness. You won't get paid otherwise. Besides, you're not a serpent you're a god damned bat!
Batman: I was just trying to liven up the evening.
Frosty: Well don't, you're annoying the neighbours. Let's try again. Folks welcome to ICW Topsy-Turvy Turbulance! with me Frosty the Snowman...
Batman: Sigh. And me, Batman.
Frosty: Perfect! Now all we gotta do is film it.
Batman: Oh for the love of God! I'm outta here!
Batman throws his microphone onto the table and storms off.
Frosty: Erm... was that on camera?
Cameraman: Yeah. Carry on quick! Nobodies noticed.
Frosty: Er, um... ah tonight we got a great lineup for you tonight! Tonight, we have a great show in store for you tonight! I er, don't think this script works Henry.
Henry gets up from his directors chair, all 3 foot 4 inches of him and things start to get a little heated.
Henry: Man, I spent a whole minute deciding what went on this script so you'd better follow it word for word, or else it'll be you in the ring against one of our lucky contestants.
Frosty: It's not a gameshow. Wrestling is serious business.
Henry: Follow the god damned script Frosty! Otherwise it's microwave time for you and your carrot nose.
Frosty: OK! OK! I'll be good! Now where was I... Okay. Tonight... oh god. Tonight, we have several lucky contestants battling it out to win all the money at the end. Whoever fills their basket with the most goods in such a short space of time wins! Er, Henry? This is the script to Supermarket Sweep.
Henry: No it's not, shut up.
Henry grabs the scripts off everyone and eats them all.
Frosty: Erm... yeah. Let's get tonight's action under way shall we? Yes let's do that now before I die a horrible death out here. Sheesh.
Tag Team Match - Senor Alessandro & Senor Domenico Vs Tonic The Hedgehog & Wales[edit | edit source]
Frosty: Our first match tonight is a tag team match, between the all so famous Senor Alessandro and Senor Domenico, and Tonic the Hedgehog and Wails… er wait who are these guys?
Tonic emerges from the ramp to a ska version of the Sonic the Hedgehog theme. The carpet isn’t carpet, it is an old set of curtains. Obviously couldn’t afford it. Tonic stumbles and throws up all over the curtains. He’s obviously drunk.
Frosty: Oh dear, all over the curtains! The granny who we borrowed that from isn’t going to be very happy...
Wails emerged from the ramp oblivious to what’s going on and slips on the sick.
Frosty: And Wails with that calamity slip there!
Tonics heads up to the ring and climbs in, falling over the ropes. Wails follows suit, wiping the sick off their skin.
Frosty: Ya don’t think any copyright infringements are gonna be made tonight, Henry?
Henry: Mate I got the best I could off the possible budget. If you’re not happy then go eat Tonics sick.
Frosty: No thanks I’ll stick to the bottled cat pee you provided. *Grumble groan*... Out comes Alessandro and Domenico to a death metal version of the Super Mario theme. Who provided the sound track for the show tonight Henry? Anyway the fight will begin as soon as the bell master wakes up. You’d think that racket of a theme tune would wake him up huh?
Henry: (to bell master) Wake up scumbag!
Bell Master: Zzzz… zzz... h...huh? Oh right yeah. I’d stay awake if you’d have not made me set up the ring last night. We should have got some pros in to do it.
Henry: Well were short of pros right now since we have nothing to our name except a jar of gran’s pennies and a bag of Uncle Joes mint balls. Now ring the bell!
Frosty: I tell you something Henry, I wouldn’t wanna bump into Wails on a Saturday night. Theyre conjoined twins in case you didn’t notice viewers. And what makes it better is that they’re a bunch of whales, hence the name. We start with Alessandro and Tonic dying to commence battle…!
Tonic: Wahoo! I’m dead fast! Look at me mother!
Runs around in the ring doing forward rolls with great speed, bouncing off the ropes in drunken tumbles.
Frosty: Er, when are they going to start fighting Henry?
Alessandro eyes up Tonic, and becomes scared at his super speed.
Alessandro: Okay bro, you’re up.
Tags Domenico in.
Domenico: Oh no! But you’re the one who started first’a!
Alessandro: It’s easy, just pick on the drunk one.
Tonic: Are you talking ‘bout me? Come ‘ere you swine! Puddem up!
Swings fists rapidly but exhausts self
Frosty: Wait, what is Domenico doing? He’s stealing Tonic’s whiskey bottle!
Domenico: I’ll have what he’s a’having!
Glugs whisky down and smashes bottle
Frosty: Ohhh no this is not good! He’s just smashes Tonic’s bottle. He’s in for it now!
Runs around throwing fists everywhere. Domenico dogdes them with ease, and stops to celebrate with the crowd. A man and his dog of course, nobody else. Tonic starts to kick about with feeble kicks. One just so happens to connect with Domenico’s jaw, which knocks him down.
Tonic: Yeah! Take that you stupid Italian scum! I WON!
Wails (head 1): Er, Tonic? You’re supposed to pin him when he’s down.
Wails (head 2): Pin him while he’s down, go on.
Points finger at Wales
Tonic: *drunken slur* Well I would, but I’d probably throw up.
Alessandro: Come on Senor Domenico, tag me in! Tag me in!
Domenico: Senor Alessandro, I can see stars.
Alessandro: That’s because it’s night senor.
Wails (both heads): Tag us in Tonic! Tag us in!
Tonic: # Two little toys had two little boys…
Tags Wails in. Rolls out of ring.
Tonic: Each had a wooden horse… #
Wails jumps over the ropes and slams on the mats.
Wails (both heads): We’re gonna beat you silly, Domenico!
Domenico gets up.
Wails double clotheslines Domenico. He slams to the mat in a bloody mess.
Domenico tags in Alessandro.
Wails (both heads): You’re going down fatso!
Alessandro: Oh boy.
Wails charges at Alessandro. He dodges them with ease, since his short stature is perfect for speed. But he exhausts easily as he is fat and going bald. Yes his hair possesses magic powers, and he's losing it. Domenico crawls out of the ring and falls to the ground. Alessandro runs circles around Wails and stops behind them so he cannot be seen. Wails becomes confused.