If

If and iff and ifff,

• Now if I'd watched the sun and roll the stub of cheese socks,
• And drink an icy water upon the beach rocks,
• And contribute to Illogicopedia at some time or other
• And then, you'll say, 'Call your mother!'

Call. If. If. If if if. If is if. That's it! Yeah!

if

If I had a plane I would fly it.

If I had a cat I would say hi.

If my keyboard was broken then noo.

If I stopped saying if then I would keep saying if.

If if ifed an if, if would if if if.

If I was a radio beep.

If I didn't have that thing on the window then thing.