If I had caffeine

If I had caffeine, that'd be epic for like 109 minutes. Then you'd crash into a coma, never properly waking up until you find you're stuck in a freezer in a post apocalyptic world in which gorillas are now people and people are now birds and u have now made a million dollars in compound interest from the one penny that you deposited in your bank account seven million years ago.

Because of inflation that is worth about three cents in today's money.

So you're screwed because now the IRS employs ninjas who come to your house and steal your children if you don't pay

No more annoying calls!!

Cheese sandwiches could be intelligent. One of them beats you at Hyper Chess and the stock market now sells bananas (as i said, the gorillas are now people)

THE BBC IS NOW YOUR BRAIN

<Jondom>	nerd
<Jondom>	wtf
<Jondom>	srsly
<TReich>	jon may have a point