If you press a flashlight to your eye (closed), you will see giraffes
That is correct, according to a scientific report by a very scientific magazine. Press a bright flashlight to your closed eye, and you will see giraffes.
Don't do it with your eye open, because you won't see anything, your eye will just hurt. But if you turn on a flashlight and press it to your closed eyelid, you will soon see giraffes frolicking before you in the mountains.
If it's a compact flourescent bulb, you'll see four giraffes. If it's an older type of flashlight, you might only see one or two.
The age and gender of the giraffes you see depends upon the length of the flashlight and the brand of battery inside it.
If you use one of those plastic things...I forget what they're called...oh yeah...I remember now...anyway, if you use one of those, the giraffes you see might be vicious and bloodthirsty. Ready to crush you violently. Don't see those.
Watch out.
If you want to reach the highest leaf of a tree, you don't wait for several million years (Patience. Patience. What a lovely beard.), instead you grab a chainsaw, chop that tree down, grab that leaf, and make it yours. That's what you do if you have opposable thumbs.
Giraffes stare at the sun all the time, with their eyes wide open, because it makes them see woodchips.
They waited, and now they have really long necks.