IllogiBooks:Random Thought Testing
Good evening people, it's your boy Dia, and welcome to a new episode of Random Thought Testing!
As you well know, the Thought Police are out to remove any ungood thoughts from the minds of the lovely citizens of Oceania, and this has extended to their new policy of instituting checkpoints on the roads, to make sure no one can destabilise the ruling of this wonderful nation.
For instance, we reported this near Airstrip One Capitol:
RTT: Hello. Thought test.
Passenger #1: Thought test?
RTT: Oh yes. Were you not already aware? There's been a big press rollout. We don't want anything that we see as ungood.
Passenger #1: Ungood?
RTT: Put the helmet on. We can check your thoughts.
Passenger #1: All right. (puts on helmet)
RTT: Let's see, shall we? Hmm... football, (scans), New Idea magazine, ginger beer, uh... your pet guinea pig... what's this? Do I see some Communism? (glares)
Passenger #1: Er... no. We're planning a Russian-themed party for the weekend. Y'know, vodka cocktails, Russian folk music, that sort of thing.
RTT: Come on, get out of your car.
(Passenger does so)
RTT: It seems you are trying to spread Communism, and trying to hide it. This is a doubleplusungood offence. The last thing we want is for our glorious Oceania to turn out like... er... Eurasia! Now come along, we'll put you into a holding cell for one day. Any more ungood Communist thoughts, and you're going to Room 101.
And this, when people were trying to cross the Strait and Narrow:
RTT: Hello. Thought test.
Passenger #2: OK, I'll put that helmet on. (puts on helmet)
RTT: Right... swimming, train timetables, calculators... manga?
Passenger #2: Yes, I'm a big fan.
RTT: I'm sure you know, those plusungood perverted manga books have been sent by the government of Eastasia to corrupt our youth! We'll have no more! Holding cell!
And even this:
RTT: Hello. Thought test.
Passenger in back: I've got an ungood bellyfeel about this.
RTT: Oh, I see you have a firm grasp of Newspeak. I'm glad. After all, it's only 33 years until Newspeak replaces all other languages in Oceania. Continue with the good work!
Passenger #3: I'll put on that helmet. (puts on helmet)
RTT: OK... photography, papers, glass bowls, front doors... What's this? TRE EFIL OCNAMIANS ARE GONG TO TORGEURE US AWL?
Passenger #3: Uh...
RTT: Seems like just nonsense. You can be on your way!
Passenger #3: (to back passenger) I'm glad... apparently Random Thought Testing can't guess that we're overthrowing the government!
Wait... what?
OK... we're putting him into jail. He just admit it. On live telescreen. Oh dear. What is with our doubleplusungood nation? Goodbye!