IllogiFaith articles of faith, or something

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I believe in dogs, and Linus Pauling after he went crazy,
I believe in all the saints and the Apostles of Hecate[1],
I believe in the coming Apocalypso[2]
to be heralded by the IllogiTurtles[3] in a golf chariot
I submit my will to BananaGod, since I wasn't using it anyway.
Banana banana banana banana ba-Goom Java!

  1. Hecate is a chthonic Greco-Roman goddess associated with magic, witchcraft, necromancy, and crossroads. In modern times she is also associated with bananas.
  2. A Caribbean style of music adopted by Illogical Theosophists, played slowly as in a dirge. For an example, listen to the as-yet unrecorded "Butty Mon Song".
  3. The two IllogiTurtles of the Apocalypso,

composed in 1896 by Monsignor Peaches of the Order Illogica