IllogiGames:Mass Effect

A long time into the future, human beings discovered some awesomesauce technology on Mars that finally brought their crackpot but dormant dreams of intergalactic domination alive. This techno-shit was called-

Welcome, dear wannabe Space Hero, to Mass Effect, the best space-age RPG released since that Star-Wars knockoff! You begin your journey as "Spectre" initiate Shepard who's onboard some epic space probe! Yay!

"Yeah, yeah, Captain, you told me to check for solar interference." says a cool-looking guy on a computer who just happens to be in the same room as you.

"Oh, that's what I told you to do? I thought I wanted you to delete that-never mind!" says the Captain.

"Yeah, I did that already. Jeez, what a pussy!" computer-guy exclaims.

You're obviously curious as to what's going on. What do you say?

• What the hell was that all about?
• What the hell did the Captain tell you to delete?
• What the hell does "pussy" mean?