Zuma Deluxe(C) EULA Agreement
THE TITLE OF THIS DOCUMENT MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE. THIS TEXT IS INTENTIONALLY WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS IN ORDER TO BE VERY BORING, SO THAT YOU DO NOT READ IT AND ACCEPT IT WITHOUT READING, THAT WAY YOU PROMISE THAT WHEN YOU BEAT THE GAME, YOU WILL NEED TO GIVE US ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND AMERICAN DOLLARS. IF YOU CLICK YES, YOU ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU HAVE READ THE ZUMA DELUXE AGREEMENT POLICY (FROM NOW ON THE POLICY) AND THAT YOU WILL NOT BREACH THE POLICY IN ANY WAY, ONE OR ANOTHER.
1. PRIVACY
YOUR PRIVACY IS WELL RESPECTED AND YOUR PERSONAL DETAILS MAY BE VISIBLE ONLY TO THE AUTHORITIES AND THE BUYERS OF THE AUTHORITIES' USER DATA. HAHA. THAT WAS A JOKE. WE ARE A FAILED COMPANY AND NOBODY EVEN WANTS TO BUY A BUBBLE GUM FROM US, LET ALONE USER DATA. SO CONSIDER YOUR DATA SAFE.
AN EXAMPLE OF YOUR DATA IS WHETHER YOU WILL AGREE TO THE POLICY OR NOT. THIS IS NEEDED FOR THE FEEDBACK THAT WE REQUIRE TO MAKE OUR PRODUCTS BETTER AND MORE ENHANCED. BY AGREEING TO THE POLICY, YOU GIVE US YOUR ADDRESS, CREDIT CARD NUMBER, PHONE NUMBER, NAME, AGE, SALARY AND YOUR FRIDGE. WE REALLY NEED YOUR FRIDGE. WE ARE HUNGRY AS HELL. ALSO GIVE US A FORK IF WE DO NOT FIND IT - WE WILL SEND YOU A NOTICE THROUGH MAIL.
IF YOU WANT YOUR DATA DELETED, WE CANNOT DO IT BECAUSE WE DO NOT HAVE ACCESS TO OUR DATA SERVERS. THE TECHNICIAN FORGOT THE PASSWORD A FEW MONTHS AGO AND NOW HE CANNOT REMEMBER IT. IF YOU WANT TO GUESS THE PASSWORD, YOU CAN SEND AN E-MAIL CONTAINING YOUR GUESS TO OUR E-MAIL ADDRESS.
2. COPYRIGHT
THIS WORK OF ART IS PROTECTED UNDER THE UNITED STATES COPYRIGHT LAW. IT IS NOT ALLOWED TO DISTRIBUTE, COPY OR MODIFY ANY PRODUCTS BY THE AUTHORITIES. DO NOT YOU DARE. IF YOU DO, WE WILL FIND YOU AND PUT A GUN ON YOUR FOREHEAD. REMEMBER THAT WE KNOW WHERE DO YOU LIVE.
DISAGREEING TO THE POLICY IS A BREACH OF COPYRIGHT, DUE TO OBVIOUS REASONS. WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED IN OSLO IN 1989, AND WE DO NOT WANT THAT TO REPEAT AGAIN. THEREFORE, YOU CANNOT DISAGREE TO THE POLICY IN ANY WAY.
3. TOAST
I LIKE TOAST.