IllogiMusic:The Counting Song

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Hey kids! Let's sing the counting song!

Ready? Ok!


Ooooooohhhh...

How many times does that guy two seats ahead of you in the bus scratch his nose?

Weeeell... there's one scratch,

two scratch,

three scratch,

four scratch,

five scratch,

...

six scratch,

...

and then he stopped doing it. (thank god.)


Noooow...

How many letters are there total in the advertisements spanning the space above the windows on the side of the bus opposite you?

Weeeell... there's one letter,

two letter,

three letter,

four letter,...


[etc.]


...seventy-eight letter,

seventy-nine letter,

eighty letter,

eighty-one letter,

eighty-two letter,

...

and that's all I can see from here.


Ooooooohhhh....

Exactly how many steps have you taken since you've gotten off the bus?

Weeeell... there's one step,

two step,

three step,

four step,

five step,

six step,

seven step,

eight step,

nine step,

ten step,

eleven step,

twelve step,

thirteen step,

fourteen step,

fifteen step,

sixteen step,

seventeen step,

eighteen step,

nineteen step,

twenty step,

twenty-one step,

twenty-two step,

twenty-three step,

twenty-four step,

twenty-five step,

twenty-six step,

twenty-seven step,

twenty-eight step,

twenty-nine step,

thirty step,

thirty-one step,

thirty-two step,

thirty-three step,

thirty-four-step,

And that looks like all because I'm here already.


Noooooow...

How many times has the psychoanalyst clicked her pen?

Weeeell... there's one click,

two click,

three click,

four click,

five click,

six click, (please stop clicking...)

seven click,

eight click,

nine click, (please stop... that's really loud... please stop...)

ten click,

eleven click, (STOP!)

twelve click, (STOP! STOP IT NOW!!)

thirteen click,

fourteen click,

fifteen click,

STOP THE GODDAMN CLICKING!! STOP IT NOW I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! I DON'T WANT TO, ANGELA, I DON'T WANT TO!! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE TRYING TO HELP ME, STOP IT NOW! STOOOOOOPP!!

...


Umm... Well, sorry about that kids. Join me next week when I sing about folding my bedsheets in the proper order and killing all the germs that are trying to live on my walls and in the soles of my shoes. You won't wanna miss it! Heh heh... Where's my pills...


fin.