IllogiMusic:Wrap

The following is meant to combine all of the elements of the shitty music that is popular today. Enjoy.

Shawty, oh shawty.

I'm like the floorin' comp'ny I got hard wood

And you know when I fuck you Imma fuck you good

Cause I treat you nice,

Buy you ice

Don't fuck you once, I fuck you twice

Three times just for the charm

My dick givin' yo pussy harm

And I'm a playa, ain't give a damn

Eat you up like Silence of the Lambs

Jump around like a crazy lemur

Clean your carpet like Stanley Steemer

If you get pregnant I do not give

Thousand baby mamas ev'ry where I live

Get an abortion no one cares

If not I'll push you down the stairs

I'll say my bad, didn't mean to hurt her

Too bad you think abortion is murder

They put me on trial; don't mean shit

Like O.J. Simpson I'll be acquit

I win and rub it in your face

Paid off the jury just in case

You call me a monster just like Thriller

I say, "Wah, wah, I ain't a baby killer

unless a fetus is technically a baby and then I guess I am I mean....

Fuck it! I'm done with games

They call me magic like David Blaine

Except when I say the notion

That I don't go around with no emotion

I'm white, not blue or green

Like Vanilla Ice without copying Queen

Meet another girl, she is fine

She'll be my six I'll be her nine

When we make sexy time

Wait... That's a guy on guy position? Shit...

Well she was hotter than the sun

In the taxicab we were havin' fun

I looked at her, she grabbed my groin

It was good until the cabbie said, "Can I join?"

I'm like, "I'm not gay"

He's like, "But I love a three way"

I'm like, "Get like Robinson Crusoe; CAST AWAY"

Because I'm a big shot, I get what I need

I call it power you call it greed

People want me dead? I get others to bleed

Bodyguards gettin' kill while I'm smokin' weed

I'm not Canadian; I ain't a hoser

I'm not Asher Roth; I ain't a poser

But I sure as hell was lovin' college

For the partyin' FUCK KNOWLEDGE

All of the professors were really pissed

Because academic probation was like a guest list

If they sneak it we kick the nerds out

That's what state college is all about

Was kicked out sophomore year

I knew that I would cheer

My parents shed a tear

When they realized the end of their boy's potential was near

But I said fuck them and climbed the ladder

Cause I knew it would make them madder

They never knew how my rapping would stem

Now I got more street cred then Enimenem

But this was all a dream; the rap that I told

I mean; I'm a suburban white kid who's thirteen years old.