IllogiNews:Army of 13 foot tall marmosets continue rampage

This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages.

On Monday, an army of 13 foot tall marmosets went on a rampage, destroying everything in sight. An ancient alien cabal denies involvement. There is no known way to stop these marmosets, as they have been proven resistant to bullets, lasers, electricity, nuclear radiation, and other forms of harm. Amidst backlash by professionals, troops of the United States Army will be deploying in Texas, which is believed to be the next target of the Marmosets.