IllogiNews:Evidence of sentient giraffe universe dates to World War 2

From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages.

At first I thought, "Well, isn't this odd?"

AREA 51, Building 44 -- Illoginews field reporters broke into a government archive last night and made off with copies of some astounding photos and documents from World War 2. Pentagon officials in 1951 decided to seal these and other archives for a million years, "for the safety and welfare of the unsuspecting public", this, according to Major General Velvet Ganz, United States Air Force Office of Secret Stuff.

One classic tale of incredible bravery followed up by smarmy propaganda, the raising of the flag at Mount Surabachi on Iwo Jima, during that famous battle in the Pacific. The official line for years has been that the famous photo now admired by patriotic Americans is actually a second photo of a re-staging of the event. The actual raising of the flag was too dangerous for a cameraman to get in for a proper shoot, even if there were one available.

The actual story is that during the actual raising of the flag, at about the half way point, the flag and pole dematerialized, and were almost instantly replaced by a rather startled giraffe. Not wanting to question orders, the Marines continue raising until the creature was level on his feet. Two men fainted when he said, "What's happened to my costume?"

"We feel that this is conclusive evidence for a sentient giraffe universe," Mr. Douglas MacAckamack, professor of Outer Spaceology atITT Tech, Birmingham, Alabam "campus" told IllogiNews.