IllogiNews:He/She impregnates itself

Aurora, Colorado

A man/woman by the name of Kelly Johansten of the town of Aurora is reportedly pregnant with his/her own baby. See that he has a penis and a vagina so when he cut someone in line at a Quizno's and they said, "Go fuck yourself", he/she did. It is also reported the baby will be an exact copy of the father/mother. The man who told him/her to go fuck him/herself is being considered the legal second parent of the child. It is said the man will need to pay $300 of child support every month for his son/daughter. The man said, quote, "I had no idea it was a he/she. I don't know if the readers know this but he/she looks like a man 100%. He/she has a beard and everything." The incident occured a month ago and Kelly is due in July.

T3PO, IllogiNews.