IllogiNews:Historians discover Theodore Roosevelt was actually a pig
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Mozambique
Last week, the bones of President Theodore Roosevelt were uncovered in West Pappersville, Mozambique in order to retrieve his collarbone. His great-great-great grand daughter recently came down with an awful cold, and her gypsy doctor required a sample of collarbone from one of her ancestors in order to cure it. Upon uncovering the coffin and opening up, it was immediately noticeable that this was indeed the skeleton of a swine. Whether or not President Roosevelt was always a swine is undertermined, as there are no written records of his pigliness. Maybe people were too frightened to point this out, as he was a very badass individual. He even once killed sixteen mammoths simultaneously with a spoon. But yeah. This was totally a pig's skeleton. Pretty weird right?