Illogic Book/Page 47
At which point the banana (for the mango was actually a banana who had forgotten his own identity) turned into a raging fire and melted poor Blorg! As Blorg lay, getting perfectly tempered and homogenized, maniacal laughter filled the log-cabin... At which point the door was flung open... And in entered... a young Abe Lincoln!
"What are you guys doing here?" He demanded in a booming voice that echoed all around Mount Rushmore, causing cracks to appear down Roosevelt's glasses and tears to well in Washington's eyes. "Don't you know you are upsetting American history??!!? You had better get out of here, back through the dimensional portal and into your own quantum realities, because Heaven knows Mount Rushmore ought not to exist as yet... For crap's sake, I'm only sixteen! Far from being President! What in Heaven's name has the Secret Service been up to lately? They couldn't keep that nincompoop..."
Alas! Lincoln never finished his sentence, for it was too late! He had indeed been right all along, and history had already been ruined. This time it was a flying lemur named Lee Scurvey Assbald who put an acorn in the future president's head, killing him instantly...
Abe Lincoln fell face down into the puddle of perfectly tempered chocolate which was by now cooling rapidly, turning into the first chocolate-covered president, without the benefit of having been engraved on a fake gold coin yet.