Interviews from Random Pop Stars

Annnnnnnnnnnnd hello! We bring you from New Spork City, the PPPPPPIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDDDLLLLLLEEEEEERRRRRR SSSSSSHHHHHHOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!! *cheering* *yay* *yay* And for our first contestant, please step up.

RPS#1: Do you like pina coladas?

PoT: Huh? I was planning to talk about your music.

RPS#1: How about getting caught in the rain?

PoT: Rain is pretty annoying to me. You should know that, with the whole umbrella thing and all.

RPS#1: Are you not into yoga, then?

PoT: Yoga is fun! I do it all the time! Where are you assuming all this from?

RPS#1: Do you have half a brain?

PoT: THAT IS VERY INSULTING, I AM VERY ASHAMED OF YOU. HOW DARE YOU COME ON TO MY SHOW AND INSULT ME LIKE THIS?? THIS NEXT QUESTION BETTER REDEEM WHAT YOU'VE SAID BEFORE, OR I'M KICKING YOU OUT.

RPS#1: DO YOU LIKE MAKING LOVE AT MIDNIGHT?!?!?!!

PoT: .......... *faints*

RPS#1: Whoops. Not again.

PoT: *revives* WTF, man? Seriously, I'm considering quitting!

RPS#1: I'll escape with you.

PoT: I'm issuing a restraining order. Alright, next?

RPS#2: 'Cause baby now we got bad blood.

PoT: Is that some sort of medical disorder? And I'm not a baby.

RPS#2: Y'know we used to be mad love.

PoT: You wish! Ha.

RPS#2: Now take a look what you've doooooone.

PoT: I've dooooooone something?

RPS#2: 'Cause baby now we got baaaad bloo-HEY!

PoT: Aaah! What did I do to deserve this? NEXT?!

RPS#3: Ladeedahdeedah...

PoT: Err... What?

RPS#3: It's the one and only, the OG *at that moment someone in the crowd shouts "SNOOP DOG"*

RPS#3: Smoke weed everyday.

PoT: You're under arrest for >10,000 counts of being under the influence of an illegal substance. Aaaaaand that's our show, and remember, always brush your teeth under catastrophic circumstances! This is PiddlerOfTrousers, signing off.

XY will take it instead.

RPS#4: Choice is the weapon, y'know.

XY: Oh yes, I've heard of you. Not here! Not now! Not here! Not now!

RPS#4: That's not the lyrics, you ingrate.

XY: From the car commercial?

RPS#4: I'm not from Brighton, and it doesn't appear that you are either.

XY: Uh... OK. Get the next guest on.

RPS#5: (dressed in black) What's the difference between being simply woken up, and being woken up inside?

XY: Oh, not this song/meme again.

RPS#5: I see you don't want me here? [band launches into guitar solo]

XY: Off. Yes, I give up too. Enough, really.