Is that what you call a knife?

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Is this what you call a knife?

"Okay, the waiter never gave me a knife to cut my meat," I said.

"I have a knife," said my companion. So then he pulled out a sausage.

So then I said to him, "Is that what you call a knife? Because most people call that a sausage."

"Oh," he said.

So then I tried to cut my meat with the sausage

It didn't really work. The sausage sort of broke into crumbs. So now my meat was topped with a different type of meat, and I still hadn't managed to cut it.

Or this?

I was getting annoyed, and then I realized I had a knife in my pocket.

So I reached in and pulled out a baby carrot.

And then I realized, That's not a knife.

I threw the carrot behind me and it hit somone in the eye, but I didn't care.

"Is someone going to get me a knife or what?" I asked to anyone who would answer.

No one answered.

"I guess I'll just go home then," I said.

But then this man stood up

Or this?

And he said "And where do you think you are going, young man?"

I looked at his shirt. It said "Guns Don't Kill People, And I Don't Either. Nukes Do." I felt like running away.

"I want to go home," I said.

He looked around, and then said "I have a knife."

He pulled a frog out of his pocket and gave it to me.

And I went back to my table

Or this?

To try and cut the meat. It didn't work.

"Gah!" I said, and then I bit the frogs leg off.

My companion was staring at me.

"What?" I said.

"Here is the knife you were asking for," he said before handing me a bundle of damp shirts.

"Thanks," I said, before I cut my meat.

But then I realized I had no fork.

See also

• Knife
• Spoon