Jack Gray

Jack Gray, doing his taxes.

Jack Gray is the illegitimate son of comedian Jack White and musician Jack Black.

Early childhood

As a little girl Jack Gray lived in a house not unlike your house. Jack Gray had a dog not unlike your dog. Jack Gray had a cat not unlike your cat. Jack Gray slept in a bed not unlike your bed. Jack Gray went to a school not unlike your school. Jack Gray had friends not unlike your friends. Jack Gray had teachers not unlike your teachers. Jack Gray lived a life not unlike your life.

Jack Gray is probably you.

Parents

Jack White

Jack Black, smoking his banana.

• Turn ons: Rubbing sandpaper on his nipples while watching Shirley Temple eat fried chicken with Roger Ailes.
• Turn offs: When his sister misses the beat on her drums.
• Zodiac: Jack White is a terrible comedian.

Jack Black

Jack White, cutting his cheese.

• Turn ons: When he tells a joke and the audience is like: Oh man, that's one funny joke!
• Turn offs: When he tells a joke and the audience is like: Your jokes are bad and you should feel bad!
• Zodiac: Jack Black likes to shoot up on heroin and play the bass guitar while his beloved trailer park burns down.

The personal life of Jack Gray

Anatomy

• He is made entirely out of bacon.
• His shoelaces posses the strength of two shoelaces.
• He wear velvet gloves when addressing the lower classes.
• He has heads in the back of his eye.

Hobbies

• He likes to spank his wife and cheat on his children.
• He is the world’s leading collector of dust particles.
• He enjoys wagging his uvula at strangers on the subway.
• He has to go around naked because he smoked all his clothes.

Activities

• He once kill a blind man for looking at him funny.
• He has provided the laughs on every laugh track ever made.
• He likes to jump around now, jump around now, jump up, jump up to get down.
• He wants to tell you a little story about Waterloo.