Karen people
The Karen people are a tribe of unusual composition found in the urban jungles of the United States. The tribe seems to be composed chiefly of middle-aged women. They are in particular characterised by a compulsion to see the manager.
History of the Karen people[edit | edit source]
Not much is known about where they originated. They are often confused by outsiders with the similar but distinct Becky and Stacy people. It is likely that the current tribe was formed by interbreeding of the males found in the Virgin Islands with those in the country of Chad. The result was the empire of Normié, as it's sometimes known (a cursory examination of such fortresses of factual record as Reddit and 4chan will explain the history further). The Normié people called their chiefs 'managers'. This meant that when the women of the tribe had complaints, they would demand to see the manager. Eventually the remaining Chads and Virgins had enough and sent them to live in the United States where they could mix freely with the native male population.
The Karen Conflict[edit | edit source]
The Karen Conflict was a famous war that took place sometime in the 2010s. Since Karens are incapable of recording history beyond Facebook posts, nobody knows exactly when it happened. It was a conflict fought by the Karens against the dark and repressive forces of the Great Manager in nations such as the People's Democratic Republic of Wal-Mart. It turns out that the spirit of the managers that had haunted them since the beginning days had now combined into one major spirit who always seemed to be following them wherever they went. This explains some of their behaviour, such as cutting people off in traffic.
What to do if you encounter a Karen[edit | edit source]
If you are a manager, they will likely combust spontaneously upon realising you have authority over them.
If you are not a manager, we recommend that you threaten the offending Karen with vaccinations. These are the other major enemy to the survival of their tribe. Acupuncture? Perfectly acceptable. The MMR vaccine? Apparently, those cause autism.
Who knew?