Kitchen Table

"Kitchen Table" was the code word for an infamous 1903 NASA experiment, the goal of the operation was deploying dozens of cyborg dolphins on the surface of the sun. The whole operation started from the hateful act of a middle aged man, putting a glob of strawberry jam in a recycling bin, and a kind hearted 2 year-old penguin named Wingo waddled over to selflessly fetch the jam jar out. His hands were sticky and he started to cry. The echoes of the sweet penguin tears could be heard for miles. This was caught on a security camera and the video went around every television network. This became one of the most controversial scandals in history, still frowned upon to this day. Wingo urgently filed a law suit on the middle aged man, who due to legal purposes, his name could not specified. Wingo wants royalties for being featured in the viral video, doesn’t give a hell about the crying or stickiness. The man's sentence for this horrific copyright crime was involuntary community service of having to teach stubborn dolphins to do geometry for 23 hours a day (the other hour was spent on teaching them to build nuclear weapons) The man realized the training facility was merely a room full of mirrors. He began to scream at the top of his lungs while having a traumatic flashback which never happened in his past. His hands had this peculiar stinging sensation, his feet were asleep, and he fell into a portal that was somehow hidden in the mirror. He was soon on a hovercraft with a bunch of immortal dolphins, covered in shattered glass, and a complete loss of reality. The penguins were whispering “KITCHEN TABLE” in a cryptic language which drove him to insanity which means he failed at keeping his mind clean which meant his soul was devoured, cut apart, body was split into several dolphins with his facial features, and was catapulted into the sun. This is all that’s known to the general public, but historians are still trying to figure out more.

-Zazie Production, Harvard Historian