Kumquat

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The Kumquat is the most incredible fruit of all time, transcending reality and becoming perfection. The kumquat is perfect beyond description, in fact, the kumquat you see in photographs are intentionally altered so your mind goes not mad at the pure perfection of the kumquat.

The History of the Kumquat[edit | edit source]

The Kumquat has been a concept of the universe ever since before the beginning, as a concept of perfection. No man has the knowledge of how or why the Kumquat spread its seed upon Earth, maybe we have it to marvel at its glory, maybe it is a sign of peace and goodwill, maybe a sign of dominance over the imperfections of humanity, we shall never know. I have never seen a kumquat for myself, it could not be a fruit, though all I have met who have had a kumquat were never the same afterwards.

the pluot[edit | edit source]

the pluot is blasphemy, imperfect humans combining the beauty of the bright orange kumquat with the disgusting purple plum. those who eat the pluot shall be spit out by the great kumquat in the afterlife and shall spend eternity wandering, searching for the kumquat whom they shall never bear to witness again.

The Kumquat as a food[edit | edit source]

The Kumquat is the most perfect food, providing the consumer with benefits including, but not limited to

  • Vitamin C
  • Invigoration
  • Willpower
  • Invisibility
  • Flight
  • Animal summoning
  • Firebending
  • Airbending
  • Earthbending
  • Waterbending
  • Limb regeneration
  • Super strength
  • Super Speed
  • Transcendence
  • Calories
  • Acausality
  • Time travel
  • Growth
  • Shrinking
  • Eternal Youth
  • Immortality
  • A guaranteed spot in heaven
  • Mind Manipulation
  • Invulnerability
  • Laser beam eyes
  • among more