LINUX IS FOR FAGGOTS

OK, so like, I was trying to use Ubuntu to rescue the files off my melted hard drive. I thought that by sticking wires in the remaining pile of nasty smelling goo after the hard drive melted, I might get all my pr0n back by running some flavor of Linux. But no.

Gotta find where the hell they hid the goddamned terminal emulator in the new ugly Ubuntu desktop theme, then "sudo apt-get install samba", "sudo apt-get install linux32", "sudo apt-get install wine", "sudo apt-get install women", "sudo apt-get install a bigger dick", but then I start getting errors about some crap so I google those, and find out I have to run some other arcane incomprehensible commands, so I run those and then it turns out those were for some previous version of Ubuntu, so that some of their dependencies have been depreciated in the current version but the current version hasn't managed to get anything to replace them so to fix this I'll have to run a special command to get the depreciated dependencies installed anyway and those won't install because they are incompatible with some other new feature of the current Ubuntu so I've got to undo but at this point you start getting errors just from clicking around the damn thing to the point that I decide just to reinstall the whole OS in order to fix it faster than investigating the error messages would, so I do that, and am back to square one. Five hours gone.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

So try to imagine being in this situation. Next, of course, you find out that your flavor of Linux doesn't want to mount NTFS properly for some stupid reason, possibly due to some bizarro eccentricity of the particular model of hard drive you've got, so you need to install a special package to deal with that type of hard drive. So you spend six hours tweaking the settings of that program just to get it to mount your hard drive, and eventually you succeed! You can see your files!! A miracle!

Now it's time to transfer them to another PC. So you setup an FTP sever and configure it and screw around with SSH tunnelling and all that BS for another two days and you get stuck by incomprehensible error messages about your network and you ask on IRC channels for help with this stuff and after explaining your long story, a wizard of IRC ponders your query for a few moments and makes a final recommendation:

Wizard: "I think your fundamental problem is that you shouldn't be using Linux."

You: "Why not?"

Wizard: "Because you like girls."

You: "What!?"

Wizard: "LINUX IS FOR FAGGOTS."

Another wizard: "Yeah, FAGS ONLY! Didn't you read the channel rules?"

Genius. The solution to my problem was staring me in the face. I've been down the rabbit hole, searched and tweaked and tweaked and searched and learned new terms and tweaked some more, but at the end of the day, there really is only one conclusion I can reach.

Linux, it turns out, is for fags. Every single Linux user, everywhere, is a fag. No exceptions. Don't use Linux, and all your problems will be solved.

The end.