Light year

The term light year is an imprecise colloquialism used in various ways depending upon context. Examples include:

• Any year that is not a Leap Year, having 365 days or less, may be called a light year due to the lower Alcohol content.
• Any calendar year in which more people are on a diet than not. The subsequent loss of mass causes The Earth to spin faster on it's Axis of Evil, thus annoying Kim Jong-Il. The last such light year occurred 2001, when the government of Paraguay paid a tax bonus to all it's citizens who lost 10kgs. Thanks to various attempts to obtain this bonus, many male Paraguayans are now missing arms, legs and testicles.
• The term light year is also used as a measure of time equal to precisely 2,932,170.4 years. Commonly used to measure the duration of Bob Dole's visit to Holland in the late -7*10^20th century.
• Science fiction autors insist on using the term light year as a measure of distance. The term Parsec suffers the same fate. What is next, the inch? This practice is preposterous and unscientific.
• It could also refer to light-f***. That is where you fuck yourself or someone else at the speed of light.

This is an ambiguation page. This means Illogicopedia is not quite sure what you mean. It is slightly deaf, having stood next to a bass amp at a Status Quo concert in '74.