Liver

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I love my liver, it makes me happy inside.
Without my liver I wouldn't be able to live, or get too drunk to drive.
It process the 28 units of vodka in it's fluffy wuffy gland,
mixes it with the pink bunnies from my gall bladder, and flies me off to happy dappy land

I love my liver, it was sent with my organ donor card to medical school
after I passed out at the wheel and veered into a public swimming pool
The car's aflame bonnet colliding and igniting the natural gas heating system
the beautiful moment of a child's first steps interrupted by decaptiation from an airbourne piece of piston

I really love my liver, I somehow got found myself a resuccitate
came back as a zombie and shanked the guy who's life was mercifully extended by it in the face
If I didn't have my liver I think I'd cry
Blood would spew from my face, my internal organs would turn on each other
and I'd dissolve from the inside my body corroding, the hands of those who touched me at my funeral
(open casket)
with my head eventually winding up as a prop on CSI

Alternate version[edit]

Oh my liver, the unsung hero
Cheap whiskey sooths you so
Never shall you cease to amaze me
Never have you found a simpler place to
Go to Sizzlers and Chilis
Eat a lobster tail
Kindly whisper soft melodies into thin wispy air on a mildly humid day