Margaret Thatcher

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The Iron Lady Herself.

Early life[edit]

If you collect just enough toothpaste to match the weight of your liver, you will discover that Margaret Thatcher managed to push her way out of an elevator while whispering the name of her favorite elephant. She was busy sorting blocks from sandwiches and loved school, except for the days in October when the ocean turned to gasoline. She understood the newspaper, but the television often confused her. Electricity was scary for young Margaret. She eventually converted over to a system that would allow her to eat only apples and she would often remark that time was a really difficult thing to control.

Time as Prime Minister[edit]

She can hit those high notes hard enough to crack a girl’s calories. She can put out those singles and those albums and people are more than willing to throw so much money at her. It is really hard to believe that only five years ago she was walking on only two legs and swinging only two arms when she walked up and down the stairs to the bakery. The situation became so bad that she eventually melted down all her long hair and sold her swimming pool of vegetable oil. She retired to a life of eating tomatoes and talking to reporters about her extensive collection of spoons.

Personal life[edit]

Margaret is married to you, but you probably do not remember. You are usually intoxicated on the sound of television static. But Margaret is a good wife to you and she can usually be found knitting your socks in order to bake them in the refrigerator. Food in the winter is kept in glass jars and Margaret always makes sure that your backpack is stuffed with enough lettuce to make the pumpkins dance with envy. This is why it is always good to have Margaret around during the holiday of Halloween. However, during Christmas she has a bad habit of turning all the lampposts into vaporizers.