“Protestantism! It's like Catholicism Lite!”
“I have a dream! ... no wait ... wrong century.”
“Oh, screw it. I'm going back to buy more indulgences.”
Martin Luther was, apparently, Not Black. He's famous for not being a black person who totally didn't make the "I Have A Dream" speech. His speeches were much more boring - they had like 95 points in them! Really makes you wish he'd cut to the chase!
Anyway, he got ttly pissed off at the Pope for some reason and decided he hated doors and started chasing them around with hammers and nails ans stuff. Apparently this made the church a splode, which started a bunch of wars n stuff. That kinda sucked. But as long as you remember he's Not Black, you're good.