Mis orejas son en fuegas

OW! OW! OW!!!!!

MY EARS ARE ON FIRE!!!!!

HELP SOMEONE!!!

I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING!!!

WHY?! WHY?! WHY!???????

THIS IS MADNESS!!!!!

OW OW OW OWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT? Is that a conveniently placed bowl of water!

NOOO!!! I THOUGHT IT WAS WATER BUT IT WAS GASOLINE!!!

SHIT! NOW MY EYES ARE ON FIRE!!!

I DON'T WANT TO BE THE MALE VERSION OF HELEN KELLER!

WHY AM I TYPING EVERY THING I'M SAYING WHEN I SHOULD BE TRY TO PUT THE FIRE ON MY HEAD OUT!!!!

ARE THOSE FUNIONS?