Nescafé

Nescafé are a group of rather cringeworthy people somewhat reminiscent of you when you were twelve and in your emo phase, slowly cavorting to Black Magic Woman before drawing pictures of sea urchins all over your arms.

The theory for their argument supporting lighthousemansionism is largely based on the fact that sea urchins which look like potatoes in structure have been discovers, yet potatoes which naturally grow rectangular in shape have yet to be discovered. It also takes influence from the basic sciences of magnetism; the notion that opposites attract, even if your opposite happens to significantly enjoy jumping out at people and laughing at their slow decline into paranoid tendencies.

This article is burly men unfolding umbrellas.   Maybe you should help it on its way.