Never wrestle with a pig
Never wrestle with a pig. Pigs don't enjoy wrestling, are more difficult to wrestle than you might think, and they don't play by the rules.
Pigs don't enjoy wrestling[edit | edit source]
You can tell whether a pig is enjoying an activity by the sounds it makes. If it makes a satisfied, low grunt, it is enjoying the activity (usually eating or wallowing in mud). If it makes a continuous high-pitched squealing noise, it does not like the activity. You do not want to hear a constant high-pitched squealing noise, do you? And given the opportunity, the pig will take it out on you.
Pigs are difficult to wrestle[edit | edit source]
They are often covered in mud, and are usually too large to put both arms around properly. Moreover, their legs are not long enough to grab hold of easily, and they can move them more rapidly than you can grab them, and they kick viciously while trying in vain to get away from you.
Pigs don't play by the rules[edit | edit source]
They won't stay within the boundaries unless the boundaries are literally fenced in. Even then, they may jump over the fence if it is too low. They may sit on your face and suffocate you. If given the chance, they will kick you in the face, or bite you. This is why you should never wrestle with a pig. Instead, you should launch angry birds at them.