Newly Found Stable Face

William walked in to the room with a round, metallic object tied to his face.

"What's that?" asked his roommate.

"It's my new face. It's that round metal thing from the middle of a car's wheel. I found it in a junkyard, covered with worms. I polished it and now it's mine. It's my new face, and people will see themselves reflected in it, and thus I will be like everyone's favorite book or song. I will provide a window to the head that everyone wishes. I'll feed people and they will admire my table manners."

"So you won't have that problem with fires anymore?"

"No, because I'm now the world's most reliable spare tire."